House

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House-isms

Season 8

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He's brash, he's blunt, he's acerbic, he's...House. And, believe it or not, he does think before he speaks. Whether he's belittling his staff or explaining to patients precisely why they're so stupid, House is never at a loss for words, and we've selected the most outrageous quotes from each episode.

Nobody's Fault

"Put out an APB for a car with a man-shaped dent in the grill?"

"My process is proven. Good things usually happen. Bad things sometimes happen."

Dr. Cofield: "What are you doing?"
House: "Taking my Vicamins."

Dr. Cofield: "Are those Vicodin? Did you have surgery recently?"
House: "About a decade ago. My leg is no good at judging time."

"Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Those who can't teach, team gym. Those who can't move their arms or legs, teach us to laugh at others."

"If you want an accurate patient history, don't ever talk to the patient. Everybody lies . . . Except me. To you. Would never do that."

House: "If you're motivated by caring, bear in mind he's a dedicated chemistry teacher, with a pretty wife, and adoring students, baby on the way."
Adams: "She's not pregnant."
House: "Would it make a difference? Because I could knock her up."

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